Tis the season!

The Evolution of the Species...of Octopus

Whew, not writing for months on end about cool ocean-dwelling stuff has really given us a chance to catch up on River Monsters, Deadliest Catch, and Shark Week. Twice.

Octopuses (you thought we were going to say "octopi" didn't you? Well our grammar tutor, who is grossly underpaid, would've made us write "we will not mix Greek and Latin together" a million times. In Greek and Latin.) have long since captured man's interest. Few creatures can be simultaneously cute and creepy, fascinating and terrifying, or logical and cleverly confusing.

(the aptly named Blue Ring Octopus)

The cute and cuddly side:

It sounds ridiculous but cephalopods (phylum subclass mollusks) are actually really charming. They've been known to be playful, inquisitive, intelligent, and amazing gamblers (it's a shame he wasn't around for March Madness, we can only guess the winnings he would've had). In addition their lack of skeletons allow them to do things that just aren't normal. Like squeezing into bottles.

They come in every variation possible, which lends itself to their:

Creepy and fascinating side:

When nature gets something right but starts producing copies of a copy...well you know they're never as sharp as the original. But then you never really know what the original was, or intended to be. Nature also has a propensity to do that thing - creep-us-out-whenever-possible-thing. Just to make sure we stay at bay.

Like what? you ask. Well...we don't know...maybe have one that has 96 arms?? We can see the ha-ha in having an extra set, but 96? That's nature being like "I've got a glue gun and extra collagen...can't let it go to waste." Don't believe us? Japan is the land of Godzilla so naturally it's also home to some of the weirdest ocean catches to date. Like that prehistoric shark, giant squid, and the 96-armed octopus. See creepy picture below. You can't even tell which way is up.

And like many ocean-dwelling oddities the common octopus has a strange biological makeup. As previously mentioned it has no skeleton, it's great for when you need to squeeze into tight spaces, but not so great if you're caught in the mouth of a whale. Octopuses also have three hearts, a beak at the base of its body, and generally a very short life span. This is a little heart-breaking, but they tend to die shortly after mating, nature pre-programmed what is essentially a death ray into their genes. Their bodies begin to manufacture a secretion that kills the flexible little critters. But in their short lifetimes they are also:

Comically logical:

Octopuses are more that just a bunch of arms attached to what sometimes appears to be an inflated condom. They're sensitive and thoughtful. They don't mind working for things they want. Like food. Oftentimes in aquariums caretakers will hide food in objects for the captive animals to find. Good ol' eight-arms loves a challenge. They open bottles, build shelters, and will even break & enter when necessary. They hate boredom that much. And when they get a hankering for munchies...good luck stopping them. They've been documented worldwide as being able to get out of their holding tanks to retrieve food themselves. So if you see one making his way across the room, let him have the right of way.

And finally, the vast majority of species are pretty harmless. They're actually beautiful in many ways. But it wouldn't be a CEF post if we didn't put in the two-word warning: GIANT SQUID. Nature's bouncers in the most mysterious and exclusive of clubs, they are so frighteningly big and so elusive, we can only surmise that the images of Old World krakens were somewhat based in reality. Respect.

And now, as a non-sequitor to today's post we thought you'd have a good laugh at this quasai-related topic.