Would you like an extra helping of "slap in the head" to go with that?

Today's topic of discussion was a tough decision. There was the guilt factor, in which chiding was involved with this post.  Then there was the happy factor, the wanting to discuss the warm-and-fuzzies we get when we see the super cuddly whale shark.

So, instead of negotiating we're going to do both. Would you like an appetizer of happiness first or the scalding entree of shame?  

Ok, ok...best to let the meal cool off a bit first.  

Ah, the whale shark.  As far as names go, this one is humorously to the point.  It is indeed a filter feeding shark that is the largest of all living fishes.  While its cousin Jaws is terrorizing the coast of north Jersey (as it should...it is Jersey, afterall) the whale shark is ever so slowly cruising through the warm seas in search of microbes.

The whale shark is a lot like a vintage cadillac in terms of its place in marine biology.  Its heritage can be traced back before even the Permian!  That's old.  We're talking tens of millions of years ago.  And the beauty of this species is that unlike bears which look cute and gentle, these animals are just that...cute and gentle.  They are often used to educate the general public about shark behavior.  While the whale shark is most definitely one of the nicest you can find, that lesson is probably a bit lopsided because of it.  You won't find a lot of volunteers creating a feeding frenzy with great whites just to show how they're not man-eaters.

As a filter feeder the whale shark relies primarily on plankton, krill, and occasionally "meatier" items like jellyfish.  The way it feeds is similar to the lion fish, it uses its powerful suction to swallow tons of water and trap the tiny meals inside.  It then expels the water out through its gills leaving the food to safely travel down the way of Jonah and the...you get the point.

These are beautiful animals.  A member of one of the best examples of evolutionary design, but containing the pageant looks of the regal whale family.  They find humans curious, and reports have spread (though most likely anecdotal) about the sharks coming up to divers and swimmers for "pettings" near the suface of the water.  

Wasn't that nice?

Now how horrible is this??  

If you find this appetizing in any way, we urge you to quit reading this blog and to run out and kick a dog, shoot some birds out of the trees, burn down a rain forest, and then pour bleach into the nearest tributary that leads to the ocean.

We are standing on the knife's edge of man's harmony or complete destruction of nature.  Yes, we are in dire straights with our domestic economy, and yes the global bubble has popped in a fantastic nature that would've made Adam Smith have a heart attack, but this does not excuse us from our responsibility to make amends for our mistakes.

Killing whales, or sharks, or whale sharks, should not stand.  We shouldn't allow the mass commercial fishing of everything in the water to be a biological version of TARP.  If seeing that bloody photo above doesn't stir any kind of sadness, guilt, or pain...then your name is John Thain and you've redecorated your home in whale shark curtains and comb your hair with a  shark denticle comb.

Cookie Cutters! And not in a good way.

Today's lesson in the creepy crawly nastiness that the ocean sometimes produces is yet another hilarious example of poor-naming-obviousness.  

Meet the cookie cutter shark.  When you look at them straight on, they look even deceptively happy, smiling almost.  But no, they are mean little suckers.  Literally.  They will suction themselves onto the unfortunate prey, and with their circular jaws, cut out a circular chunk of flesh from the poor host animal.

To make things worse...they're tiny little buggers!  So they will scar its victims, not necessarily kill.  But, they're kind of wimps, are ugly...and not that smart.  The marks of the cookie cutters have been found on manmade objects, most notably submarine parts.  

Additionally, an odd feature to these sharks is their fleshy lips and jaw structure.  The lower jaws contain the large more active teeth with the upper jaw housing the smaller digesting teeth.  Incidentally most sharks have the rows of replaceable teeth that fall out after attacking prey.  The cookie cutter's teeth actually fall in, and the shark digests its own teeth for calcium. 

So listen...not everything can be pretty, and not everything can be cuddly like a walrus...but really, ocean?  Really??  Ewww.