I'm on the Endangered Species List, what's your excuse?

The image to your right is of vintage quality, however it is very representative two things: that men were a-hole fishermen long before we invented the tiered system of endangerment, and that the Giant Sea Bass is no longer that giant or that plentiful.

Sadly today we discuss the giant sea bass while nervously biting our fingernails. Despite its conspicuous size, very little is known about this species of magnificent fish. It shares its morbid honor with several other species including the Coelacanthis. The prize in hauling one of these giants up is just that: its ridiculous size. They can be found off the coasts of California cruising around, thinking about maybe reproducing. It takes a very long time apparently, for fish to trust us and allow them to live like they did pre-human threat.

The giant sea bass (or black sea bass as he's known in some parts) had supported much of California's booming fish industry in the 19th and early 20th centuries. It only became evident that these fish were desperately trying to hold onto existence in the '70s. That's right...the 1970s. They were hunted down and exploited for a good two hundred years before some genius realized the Chryslers of the Sea were dwindling down to a population of just a few. Despite having passed protective measures, the giant sea bass is slow to reproduce. But then again, we shouldn't expect a rapid repopulation of this species. After all, that would entice fishermen to dust off those spears. Additionally, we just don't know what they do in their spare time. They might be really great chess players, or have a love of Nabokov. Whatever it is they do while hiding out we should let them be. Because no one likes being bothered, especially when you're trying to save your own kin.

The Lion King

Let's be honest. We can often paint people, places, or things as enemies. Sometimes it's valid, sometimes the threat is real because it's purposeful. However, a recent re-introduction of the Lion Fish in certain coastal areas has sent the evil PR machine into overdrive.

This particular family of fish is unique. It is easily recognized for its beautiful appearance. The lion fish is usually wildly striped in hues of red, brown, and orange. It captures the imagination for its long separated spines which are actually poisonous. However these are defense mechanisms. The lion fish doesn't generally troll the seas looking to see who it can hurt.

For its beauty and splendor, the lion fish does have one thing working against it: its appetite. It is a voracious hunter, and depending on size, can easily eat many times its weight in one sitting. A fascinating aspect of this fish's eating habit is that it generally swallows its prey whole, using a powerful vacuum-like suction to gobble up its meal. Its appetite usually means wherever it goes populations of other smaller fish are almost always devastated. Not only this, but if found and bred in certain tourist friendly areas, these fish are bound to injure a few visitors. As a tourist one should be inclined to watch where one goes, and to not try to touch anything that looks like it could possibly give you more than a headache later.

Lion fish do not breed well in captivity. Who would really want to get it on in a big rectangle with people watching? However in its native or adopted environment, the lion fish can reproduce rapidly. This is causing problems for many Caribbean areas. The big uproar in the news is about how they are aggressively destroying fragile coastal systems. While it's true that the lion fish is all about itself, it doesn't possess the higher order thinking to say "what's on the ol' to-do list? let's see...destroy ecosystem..." The lion fish acts intuitively to its nature, just as everything else in the ocean does. However its line of thinking collides directly with ours. It should be our responsibility to maintain a healthy balance in the world's oceans.

But this doesn't mean we need to exterminate the little buggers. The fish can be safely captured and relocated into aquariums or private tanks. You won't see fishermen off the coasts of Spain spearing the numerous jellyfish that have suddenly exploded in number. Let's be sensible and decent about how we treat population spikes in the sea. When things like this happen, it's a sign. It means the Earth is pissed.

It Takes a Real Roughy to be a Slimehead

The orange roughy is a long-lived, deep sea fish that has quite a unique set of characteristics.  Despite its name, the roughy is actually a dark red in real life, only when it dies does its pigment fade to its widely given name.  

The orange roughy lives its life in cold waters taking its time maturing and mating.  While the average and oldest age can be disputed, there is no arguing this particular fish's staying power.  On average they can age to up...well...pretty damn old.  And that's as scientific as one can get.  But an old fishing tale has it the oldest roughy caught was 149.  He probably only looked 100.  Because they live in colder waters they tend to be on the sluggish side, which also complicates its mating ritual.  It takes a considerable amount of time before a roughy is ready to mate.   To put in perspective, the roughy is almost like a human.  It takes at least 20-30 for this animal to be reproductively mature.  So he's the post-college grad who just moved into his first apartment in the upper, upper east side looking for that wife to start passing on his genes.  

So how can an endearing fish such as the roughy carry a name like slimehead?  Simple, they were lovingly named after a physical trait which is common in their family, the muciferous (read: mucus) canals that run down their large heads.  Awwww...

To see a roughy one would probably recoil in horror.  Afterall, this is no Koi.  Rather the roughy takes pleasure in the fact that he is a bit of an anomaly.  Still ugly but still prized.  The roughy has found itself, unfortunately, in a position like that of his distant cousins.  He and his family are being hunted down to the point of collapse.  What makes this extra hard to take is that fishing has become so sophisticated that deep sea trawling can reach depths like never before.  This means relatively safe groups of roughy are now forced to either migrate or get caught.  That's like asking the handicapped to pick up their wheelchairs and run down the fire escape.  The roughy can't handle such brutal treatment.  

But this species is another fine example of the exotic life we are fortunate to have on our earth, and how we are squandering opportunities to preserve it.  Fish aren't masochists.  They don't like being hunted down.  They probably aren't great cuddlers (especially with mucus-y bodies and all) but they still deserve hugs.  Even the roughys.  But chances are you won't be able to dive that deep.  So just blow him a kiss.  He likes kisses.

Oxymoron of the Day: Chicken of the Sea

What would you like to know about the Yellowfin Tuna today? The yellowfin, commonly known as "albacore" and "ahi", is probably the most commercially sought-after species of fish in the world.

The yellowfin, like its sibling the bluefin, is a beautiful animal. In fact, the whole "thunnus" genus is. Bullet-shaped, streamlined, extremely muscular and up until recently very resilient, these fish have unwittingly continued to captivate human's insatiable craving for it.

What is the difference between the yellow and bluefin? Well, primarily the coloring of the pectoral fins. Yellowfin tunas have extraordinarily bright coloring on their finlets. These fish are very migratory, and can be found nearly all over the world. They are most comfortable in tropical waters, and so they tend to favor areas below the equator.

Unlike its brother the bluefin, the yellowfin is not considered endangered. In fact, it's considered "least concern", however this is an outdated classification, and the species has most likely moved up a notch or two in terms of endangerment. In fact, the yellowfin accounts for over 45% of the North America's tuna harvest each year. How does that not spell doom?

These brilliant fins need conservation efforts like anything else in the ocean. Just because a population of a certain species is considered abundant doesn't give us the right to destroy it. 

Oftentimes we take for granted the things we kill for our meals. Did you know the yellowfin is an extremely strong schooler? That means it doesn't necessarily school by species, it'll school by size! Blue and yellowfins can be found schooling with other large fish (like the bigeye), and even dolphins. So strong is the urge to "bond" while schooling that the fins have been observed using driftwood and other large pieces of refuse as swimming "companions".

Tunas are incredible fish, the only animal that could rival its engineering is the shark. In fact, a 200 lb yellowfin can easily cruise at 23 mph for a long period of time. When the yellowfin feeds its excitment shows through light vertical bars that appear on its sides.

We have to stop treating the earth and the animals in it like they are here for solely for our eating enjoyment. They are here for our enjoyment period. Catching/killing/eating anything we like out of the ocean is not a basic human right. So when someone says to you "I did a great job at work today, I deserve lobster/tuna steak/salmon/any seafood tonight!", kick them in the shins.

Yum, Yum, Bumblebee What??

Today's homage will be dedicated to source of this administrator's ulcer: the majestic bluefin tuna. No, no...the tuna itself doesn't give the adminstrator an ulcer, but the fact that this species of incredible fish is critically endangered is what's keeping them up at night.  

Never before have these fish had it so rough. Granted they probably don't remember the days in which they never had to worry about sonar detection or fleeing from so many enemies in one area at a time.  No, the bluefin probably doesn't think about that.  In fact, the bluefin tuna probably doesn't get ulcers because it luckily doesn't know what we're doing to its very own habitat.

Rather, the bluefin probably worries about the most basic things like you would; finding food, shelter, a mate, and all various forms of security.  It too gets road rage on its way to work, finds parenting to be tough (especially with 11 or 12 "kids" at a time), and will try not to complain when the same dinner is served over and over again.

The bluefin, not a native of the Pacific Ocean (although some are being farmed off the coast of Japan), grows to average of just over a meter.  Its body is a dense, muscle powerhouse which enables the tuna to swim as fast as it can away from predators (though not always successfully). The tuna itself is a predatory fish.  It lives primarily off of smaller fish like sardines and squids. The flesh of tuna, sadly, is also too highly valued in the arena of human consumption.  We have developed an unhealthy addiction to this lovely animal because its flesh is extremely...(ugh) tasty.  In fact, so prized is the tuna that in the Japan one tuna can fetch over $100,000 in the open market.  There is no shortage of irony with Japanese culture and fish...a country that spends years breeding carp (carp!!) for beauty pageants will unflinchingly kill off a species of fish just for the gratification of a sushi meal that lasts maybe one hour.

So, how bad have humans made it for the tuna?  Bad.  We've essentially guaranteed the extinction of this species by overfishing and sitting on our hands while other countries follow suit.  In approximately four decades we have nearly collapsed the available stock of bluefin.  The problem is aggravated by the fact that the bluefin is also slow to mature, and takes several years to reach spawning level.  This is coupled by the problem that the bluefin's diet is waning dramatically because those stocks also on the verge of collapse.

To see a bluefin in its environment is to understand the beauty and science of life in the ocean.  And to see a giant bluefin, rare as they are, is cause for even more wonderment. For in a setting in which we kill to satisfy a temporary hunger these fish persist.  But not for long, soon the bluefin will join its sibling, the yellowfin, in being referred to in the past tense.  It will have existed, and once swam the oceans.  If you see any of the men pictured in the photo above, kick them in the shins.  That will give the tunas one less reason to get an ulcer.

Ok, Ok!

The administrator of this blog is sorry.

It's been awhile...and lots of ideas have come and gone...and well, there's really no excuse for the laziness. Other than the administrator was lazy.

To make up for it, there will be back to back posts of fish and fish related goodness this week.

Is that shark-fin soup you're eating?

Be forewarned, this post will have a slight soap-box feel to it.  There is sad news in the ocean community, and it seems to be coming on a regular basis.  It was revealed this week a study which indicated that an alarming number of sharks on are the brink of extinction.  That's right, extinction,  not even endangerment!  These magnificent animals are one haul away from being wiped out.  While there can be a variety of factors to blame for this dire situation, it is predominantly (and not surprisingly) at the hands of humans which have helped shape this tragedy.

Sharks and rays hold a special place in our hearts.  There is probably no other family in the animal kingdom that inspires such awe, fear, curiosity, delight, and wonder as sharks.  Their looks lend to our delighted terror state ("Jaws") but the beautifully engineered bodies lend to our ceaseless amazement.  They have been one of the strongest and most prolific survivors of the Dinosaur age into our turbulent and modern times.  Sharks serve as reminders of the overused adage "survival of the fittest".

To say sharks are fascinating would be an understatement.  Their design elements and survival abilities are unparalleled.  Sharks are fish, incredibly sleek, wonderfully engineered fish. Sharks are covered in dermal denticles, and it is probably what you're thinking.  The skin is covered in very tough scales which when rubbed front to back is very smooth.  Rubbed the other, back to front, your hand is likely to get very cut up.  Sharks have evolved rows and rows of razor sharp teeth which are imbedded in its mouth but not the jaw.  Hunting often results in the loss of multiple teeth, so they are replaced by new ones. Imagine if we had that ability...we'd never need dentures or braces.  We could get punched in the face as many times as we'd like and still be able to sit for an Olan Mills photo the next day.

A distinct trait of the shark is that the majority of the species lack a swim bladder.  Swim bladders enable fish buoyancy, the shark instead relies on its "airplane" design to keep "afloat". Much like airplanes, sharks must use its pectoral fins to create "dynamic lift".  Otherwise the shark would undoubtedly sink because of its mass.  In addition to their prominent front fins, sharks have developed a variety of tails.  The tail is most obviously used for thrust and speed, so they vary accordingly.

The word "shark" is only a recent development, it was credited as having been coined in the 16th century.  Before then sharks were referred to, amongst other things, as "sea dogs". Despite recent name-christening, the shark has long been a successful adaptor and until recently, survivor.  Sharks have been assumed to have been in existence as early as the Ordovician.  This was a time that no life on land existed and very few predators/prey were in the ocean.  In fact, the shark became such a successful predator that it grew into the incredible Megalodon.   That's a post for another day.

Sharks, like the majority of sea life, deserve respect and protection.  Just because it looks like it can chew your legs off doesn't mean it will or it wants to.  Sharks are poster children for adaptation and evolution.  Don't allow them to be written into history books as "once having existed".  We can't afford to continually lose living proof of what our world once was or will be. So go on, give your local shark a hug today.  But remember, hugs go front-back.

Dress Your Family in Koi-duroy: Beauty Pageants for Fish

It's been widely known, and amusingly observed, one of the most honored traditions in Japan, is dressing up your fish for beauty contests. This means of course the tradition of the Koi. The word itself, un-creatively, just means "carp" in Japanese. But that doesn't mean you can look at the species "menu" on the left and dream of them wrapped in seaweed.

The koi has had the fortune of being transformed from an "ugly duckling" of the fish world to become beauty queens supreme of the cold waters. Intense interest in koi breeding happened only within the 20th century.

Koi have more than looks though. They are believed to be able to form social bonds with their owners. In fact, many owners relay stories in which their koi know when they're coming and even patiently eating food pellets out of their hands. It is this connection in addition to its beauty that makes the koi royalty amongst all other "domesticated" fish.

The care and breeding of koi can vary and be as arduous as any other highly-involved hobby. Because koi have developed certain levels of acceptable beauty, it often not surprising though very disheartening to know that many (thousands) of offspring are culled because they lack color or markings. Koi are very active and athletic fish, so they do best in man-made environments. Released into the wild they tend to be the loud, noisy, unruly post-grads in the water world's upper east side. But koi are hardy, typical life spans go into decades. This makes them far more attractive than typical pond fish.

The size, color, and personality of the koi has endeared itself to almost everyone who's ever seen one. It's only fitting that we started beauty contests for fish, so we should extend that banner to more animals out in the ocean in a manner that's more appreciative.

My mother's a duck, my father's a beaver and I'm in therapy! The Platypus

If when looking upon this cute little critter to the right your heart doesn't melt, have someone check your pulse. The platypus gets an honorary place in this blog because he is partially aquatic, and really anything that touches the water is good enough for a discussion.

Despite unbelievably cuddly appearances, the duck-billed platypus (which is a bit redundant, there is only kind of platypus) is actually a bit of a gangster. It is one of the few venomous mammals on earth. That's right, this animal is in the same quilting circle as the Man O' War. The males have a spur (loosely resembling a really long nail) on their hind feett that contains toxins. Should you ever cause the platypus to have to use his spur...well, it was nice knowing you. Generally the jabs are not fatal...but you will be feeling it for days.

The platypus is a native of Australia, but it's not friends with the Geico gecko. Where lizards and amphibians in general are plentiful down under, platypuses were nearly hunted into extinction for its beautiful dense fur. Its name comes from the Greek combination that literally translates to "flat foot". The original discovery of the platypus is credited to John Hunter, though many people were positive the animal was a hoax. After all...wasn't evolution supposed to be streamlined, not hodge podged?

Amongst other things that the platypus enjoys is driving people nuts with possible plural forms of its name. There is no universally agreed upon plural, although it's rumored that he prefers "platypodes" which would be the Greek plural. In addition to its oddly cute appearance, strange and complicated name, it is one of five mammal species to belong to a very exclusive club: monotremes. This means they lay eggs instead of giving live birth. Not only this, but they hunt with electrolocation. That means, amazingly, they find food via the electrical impulses given off by prey. They hunt frequently, and are often thought of as the Australian Kobayashi. They typically eat 20% of their bodyweight daily. Despite having to hunt regularly, the platypus's dives are usually very short, hence it being semi-aquatic. It's not very impressive to see an animal go into the water all graceful and then come up gasping and choking for air 30 seconds later.

Conservation efforts have been stepped up for these furry fellows, as their community was threatened with collapse during the 19th century. However it's still facing major ecological changes, and many populations have been driven to other parts of the Australian coasts as their local habitats have been drying up or becoming too warm to be accommodating. So although you may never see one up and close and personal, what we do here effects the world. If you are ever lucky enough to happen upon one, please send pictures and give him a smile. He's not into hugs.

Peanut Butter and Jellyfish: The Portuguese Man O' War

Not to start off with a fib...but this post is starting off with a fib.  The Portuguese Man O' War is not actually a jellyfish.  They'd probably be insulted you even thought such a thing.  And "they" is in reference to just one Man O' War, not a whole "smack" of them.  

Yes, this beautifully-hued-water-wing-look-alike is a living, swimming co-op.  The Man O' War is actually a siphonophore.  This means they are made up medusoids and polyps.  Polyps in this sense mean something completely different than what we traditionally think of.  Usually the word polyps bring a scene from "Alien" to mind.  Each member of the water-wing has an important part.  Separately they wouldn't get much done...but together they can kick your ass.

The Man O' War is commonly feared off the Florida Keys.  As they should be.  The tentacles contain venom that is 73x stronger than a cobra bite.  The best thing to do if you see one floating (and they can only float, they have no means of jet propulsion) is to swim as quickly as you can the other way.  The other thing that is recommended should you see one on the beach all washed up and dead looking is to not touch it.  While we're naturally curious creatures and would be inclined to poke it, the tentacles still contain toxins.  So while the co-op might be vacant, its tentacles are not.  Those unfortunate enough to have been stung by a Man O' War most likely made it out ok.  Rare are the fatal cases of stinging deaths.  That's not to say those people didn't have it rough for a few hours.  The pain is on par with just about anything excruciating.  So think of the last time you had something very painful happen to you, take that, multiply by a hundred, then add a house-landed-on-you feeling.

This Man O' War (or bluebottle has they're known in certain 'hoods) is Portuguese in name because of its shape.  The common shape of the air bladder that floats atop the ocean appeared similar to the sails of Portuguese ships Caravela redonda.  Or man-0f-war.  

But for all the majestic traits this animal possesses both in looks and etymology, it certainly lacks in all other departments.  Nothing is more disappointing to know that when they sense danger, they'll deflate its air bladder and dip beneath the surface of the ocean to hide.  There are just too many ways to go with that.  And for all of the hullabaloo surrounding its sting, there exists a couple of species immune to it, like the Loggerhead turtle which feeds Man O' Wars.  Wonder if that would make the plural Men O' Wars.

Jurassic Porker: The Leedsichthys

It might be fair to say that the Leedsichthys holds a special place in paleontology's heart. Well, most gi-normous boney fish do. This particular gi-normous boney fish holds the nonexistent world record of "possibly the world's largest fish to ever exist". It's nonexistent because scientists like to spend too much time waffling and less time measuring. But to their credit a complete skeleton fossil has yet to be found, so it's a lot of guessing.

The Leedsichthys was an amazing species of fish that existed during the Jurassic. During the heyday of the dinosaurs incredible animals lived in the ocean. To complement this ridiculously large swimming buffet evolution created the Liopleurodon. This creature is arguably the largest predator to have ever existed. That's a post for another day.

Despite its epic size (estimated it could grow up to 25 M, or approximately 82 ft long - which, by the way, is twice as long as the current largest living fish) the Leedsichthys was a leisurely swimmer. Chances are its metabolism was super inefficient, aggravated by its diet which consisted only of shrimp, jellyfish, and plankton. This meant it had to conserve its energy. Like the modern Whale Shark (which is neither a whale nor a shark) it had giant rows of teeth-lined gills. Think of it like those cloth strips in automatic car washes. Despite its seemingly meager food preference, it easily outgrew every other species in the ocean. In fact, it probably took a whole team of predators to take down one adult Leedsichthys. It's been assumed it traveled in packs, after all in a time like the Jurassic...you can't underestimate the safety in numbers rule!

The etymology of "leedsichthys" is almost as fun as the actual animal. It's named after the British fossil enthusiast Alfred Leeds. The name is Greek for "Leeds's Fish". The species was then further cemented into curious fame by having "problematicus" tacked onto its name. And that's a true story. Apparently they had "problems" and/or difficulty imagining an animal of that scale could exist. Logistics aside, the Leedsichthys was truly a gentle giant. In fact, you could say it was near pansy status. The main difficulty in finding complete fossils is that the Leedsichthys had very fragile skeletons, despite it being considered obese by the prettier, thinner, faster fish.

So the next time your friend decides to tell you a tale about the fish that he caught that was "t - h - i - s big", just humor him.

Here There Be Sea Monsters: FAQ about the Giant Squid

As the old Norse joke used to go: 

"Hey Larry, what's Kraken?"

"A Giant Squid!"

Back in the day (we're talking 17th - 18th century here) ocean explorers, sea farers, sailors, and anyone foolish enough to get on an exploration ship, were often prepped for their voyages by being told frightening tales of the Kraken.  The Kraken was a legendary giant squid that was predisposed to viciously attacking ships just willy-nilly and resulting in certain death for all on board.  It was apparently fond of hanging in colder waters, in the general Iceland/ Norway/ Sweden vicinity.  Among other tall tales (verified by men with peg legs and eye patches) the Kraken could destroyed an entire ship just by quickly diving back into the deep, thereby creating such a powerful whirlpool that the ship would be doomed to the black depths of the sea.  If the Kraken were to attack your ship...well forget it.  No chance of survival.  For the Kraken's size was likened to an island, and its tentacles a quarter mile long.  

Chances were those men were a little seasick, a little scared, but most likely just gullible.  But the those seafaring men were not completely foolish.  The Giant Squid does indeed exist, and with science and technology constantly improving, we are now on the verge of understanding the secrets of the Giant Squid.  If for nothing else, this animal intrigues us so because it's huge, it's reclusive, it's real, and it wants nothing to do with us.

How big are they?  Last year the largest known squid was caught off of New Zealand, it was 10m long (that's over 30 ft).  In fact, if calamari rings were to be made from this catch, they'd be the size of tractor tires.  This specimen also happened to be a Colossal Squid, bigger than its Giant Squid cousin, it's been estimated they can grow up to 14m.  These squids are the largest invertebrates in the world.

Where do they live?  They have been known to be in primarily frigid waters.  Because they live in very deep depths, and are dispersed in terms of community, it is hard to pinpoint a likely location for these beautiful beasts.  It's also been assumed that these animals very rarely meet, in fact, mating is an arduous process.  One that involves swimming many, many miles to find a mate.  It's not a very romantic process, so details won't be provided, as it's likely to gross you out.

What do they eat?  They are generally carnivores, and will eat other much smaller squids, a variety of fish, and shrimp.  It has also been suggested, like the quintessential display in the Museum of Natural History in Manhattan, that the giant squid can occasionally attack whales. But chances are the giant squid, no matter his size, will not take on an adult blue whale.  He will most likely try his hand at a juvenile whale if he decides to attack at all.

What's unique about these animals?  Well, you have your pick.  Science has also recently confirmed that the giant squid is also the owner of the world's largest eyes.  Which is a little odd, considering the depths they live in.  Eyesight is almost of no use, light does not penetrate in the deep.  But large eyes do help capture what little light does filter down, although they hunt primarily by smell.  What else is creepy about these squids is that, like other cephalopod members, it has a beak for a mouth at the base of its body where the tentacles meet.

With technology constantly improving, and our world seemingly getting smaller, it will probably only a matter of time before we can discover the true nature of the giant squid.  And that will be a coming out party that it will not want to attend. 

Topic of the Day: Your Friendly Neighborhood Lobster

It was a tough decision between the lobster or the squid. Today the lobster won, next post will be about a member of the cephalopod family. We take lobsters for granted, and often (if not always) overlook how cool they are.

Lobsters are crustaceans, which belong to the larger family of arthropods. That's right, it's related to spiders and insects. If you want to get technical, arthropods are species of animals that have tough exteriors (exoskeletons), segmentation, and jointed appendages.

The most common type of lobster you're likely to meet is the "clawed" lobster, though there are many species. Most people don't realize the colorful history of the lobster. Once considered the "poor man's" food, it was actually boycotted during colonial times because of its overabundance. Only in the 20th when the import/export industry became more efficient did the lobster become a favored luxury food. But, let's not think about our clawed friends in that way.

The common lobster likes to live a hermit type life. He'll hang out in rocky, continental shelf areas, spending most of his time hunting, eating, and growing. Because of its relation to the arthropod family lobsters molt. They must do so quickly, otherwise they become vulnerable to predators as well as risking injury to themselves. Lobsters can live to the ripe old age of 100. Because they take a considerable amount of time to mature before mating, and with the species population rapidly dwindling, it is now a law in lobster fishing that "adolescent" lobsters that are caught must be returned to the water.

An endearing quality about this animal, though not always to its benefit, is that it's built to swim one way: backwards. The way lobster traps work is that bait is anchored to the bottom of a wire cube. The lobster swims into the cage easily, but because it's oriented from the opposite end, it can't find its way back out. Thus it is stuck and at the mercy of Gorton the Fisherman. But that doesn't mean it can't walk...albeit very slowly...forwards. Walking behind a lobster is like walking behind a tourist in Times Square, you'd just rather not.

And who says lobsters can't be trendy? They grow in a variety of beautiful colors; blue, green, red, magenta, purple, and green. Not only this, but way back in our early history lobsters (as well as a variety of sea life) were worshipped. The super sophisticated Moche people of Peru knew what was up in respecting marine life, and that was back in 200 a.d.

So the next time you see a lobster, do not picture him naked with a side of drawn butter. Because lobsters hate nothing more than being objectified.

Enemy of the Day: Polychaete Worms

They're not really enemies in the traditional sense.  They aren't super destructive or extremely evil.  They're just...ugly...and creepy.  Like all ecosystems, the ocean has its share of bizarre and strange scavengers.  The polychaete worm pretty much fits that bill.

Sea worms have been in existence for millions of years.  In fact, deep sea expeditions always records no less than 10 new species of sea worm each time.  But that doesn't mean we should get all excited about 'em...they're worms. They come in all different shapes and sizes.  Sometimes they look pretty innocuous.  Like the deep sea vent worms.  They look very similar to pretty feathers.  Except they're worms.  It's hard to be a fan of something that lacks eyes, mouths, or other discerning features that would otherwise make it more lovable.  One of the odd traits of sea worms is that they do not have a straight forward line in evolutionary paths.  Sometimes when they are discovered, they are more rudimentary than previously discovered ones.  Who knew?  C'mon...it's a worm...how can you go backwards from there?

To their credit though, they do perform some interesting job functions.  Most of the time they are a lot like the Dept. of Sanitation for parts of the ocean.  They'll clean up scraps, sometimes even burrowing into bones to get the last bit of protein.  Some species feed solely off of bacteria floating through the ocean.  However, with their ability to rapidly produce, it begs the question, what is their purpose after the initial task?  Does a whale carcass really need tens of thousands of worms just hanging around afterwards?  No one like loiterers, not even in the ocean.

An Ode To: Neil Sims

While the general population is slowly getting acquainted with the notion of going "green" in one way or another (Al Gore or not, we should've seen the signs), Neil Sims has been acting on it for the past several years.  As co-founder of Kona Blue Water Farms he is a one-man army standing at the intersection of Overfishing and Disastrous Farming.  His life is now about one mission: saving the extremely rapidly depleting stock of tuna off the coasts of Hawaii.

While his methods are not super maverick or incredibly innovative, he is nearly single-handedly reshaping the wheel that was long accepted as the only method to farm fish.  Obviously the most desirable answer to the serious issue of fish stock depletion is to cut back on fishing, but human consumption will not allow that to be a choice.  The demand for nearly everything seafood related has become so strong over the past few years that no less than 104 species of fish are endangered, including the majestic Bluefin Tuna.  To answer the spiking demand the fishing industry has overstepped acceptable catching quotas and have begun the methodical practice of hunting deep into the middle of the ocean, chasing fish into all four corners.

Enter Neil Sims.  Fish farming was generally viewed with disdain because the final product was always a mere shadow of the real, wild thing.  Farmed fish lacked color, taste, nutrition, and the stocks were generally much more susceptible to disease.  Neil has proposed the best method to cultivate healthier more vibrant fish is to farm them out in the open versus closed in tanks.  One of the most interesting things he has done with his farmed tuna stock is to feed them pellets with chicken meal.  Fish that eat chicken.  Or Chicken-Eating Fish.  This was done to cut back on the waste of other fish resources used for traditional fish feed.

While Whole Foods stopped buying the Kona tuna because of the chicken component, the logical reason seems a bit misguided.   The issue: you won't carry fish that consumed meat because you have a consumer base of vegetarians that don't eat meat but will eat fish?  Vegetarian debate aside, Sims is carrying out a mission to help save the wild fish stock while supplementing the insane demand for all things swimming.  His farm is humane and a luxury resort by some fish standards (all the fish have to do is swim, eat, and make baby tunas), and he is constantly trying to find ways to improve the system.  Demand may eventually outstrip the supply and we will be looking at extinction for more than once species at a time.  We will wonder how we got here while eating calamari and spicy tuna rolls.

This man is about as passionate as one can get about our finned friends.  He also deserves a hug.  If you see Neil Sims strolling along the coast of Hawaii, give him a hug and a drumstick (for the tuna).

Today's Topic: The Sunfish (i.e. Fugly)

Contrary to its fun-sounding and happiness-invoking name, the Sunfish is one of the most bizarre creatures in the ocean. Not only does it win all the ugly contests in the sea, but the Sunfish's place in the evolutionary chain would leave any species cringing. This animal is a fine example of evolution's half-assed attempt at making something cool. If you're not familiar with the Sun Fish, think of it like this: six months worth of dirty white laundry wadded up swimming through the ocean.

It has no speed, no agility, no major defenses other than size, but most importantly it has no taste. Despite its Elephant Man appearances, the Sunfish is truly intriguing.

It is an incredibly dense animal, and one of the largest bony fishes in the sea (largest fish ever to exist was the Leedsichthys - that's another topic). The body strangely ends right after the dorsal and anal fins, which makes it look...stumpy. Like sharks, its body is primarily cartilage. That's right, it's like a giant nose swimming around. The Sunfish's "meat" (ick) contains toxins. It can grow up to thousands of pounds and has quite an arduous time swimming about. It actually has to steer with its mouth, by squirting out water in certain directions to move around. It remains one of the thousands of unique species in the ocean that has no real purpose or design. But, like 99.9% of the species that live in the ocean, it needs protecting, and probably a hug. So hug your local Sunfish today.